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Thursday, June 27, 2013

New Mexico sunsets are the best

View from my front porch this evening

Took a quick drive around the corner to catch this

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The birth story...better late than never?

As Conor's first birthday gets closer and closer I am reminded that I never sat down and wrote his birth story (or started his baby book or started his scrapbook. Mother of the year, right here folks).

As I have explained HERE baby Conor was a surprise. I had an Essure tubal in 2009 and unexpectedly became pregnant in October of 2011. To say we were shocked does not even begin to cover it. But he was on his way against all odds...

Thankfully, aside from some terrible morning/all day sickness my pregnancy was very healthy and normal. I had decided to work upp until birth unless medically necessary to quit. I wanted as much time home with the baby as possible after he was born. Overall, I was fine with this decision but it was admittedly difficult towards the end.

30 weeks
34 weeks

My guess date of July 9 came and went. Now, I am pretty laid back about letting the baby come when they are ready. I am semi-crunchy and had 4 prior natural childbirths. I try to avoid medical intervention and induction unless truly medically necessary. I also know that babies do not magically appear on their "guess" (due) dates. But I am not going to lie, when my guess/due date came and went, I was bummed out. Hey, I am human and I have been through 5 pregnancies...I was over it.

On July 12 I went to work as normal. I felt fine and every thing seemed normal. Around 2pm I went to the bathroom and thought maybe my water was leaking. Nah, I decided it was just wishful thinking. I went about my day. That evening I got home and made dinner for everyone. After dinner I went upstairs and changed into my standard pregnancy uniform of a tank top (Love those Target Long and Lean tank tops) and khaki shorts. After changing I sat on the foot of my bed and as I leaned across to grab a pillow on the other side I felt that undeniable gush. I told my husband that I "thought" my water was broken but I was not sure. I then called my doctor and they of course told me to come in ASAP. We called out inlaws and I did my last minute packing and then we headed off to the hospital. As we left my now 13 year old son insisted on taking one last picture (he is so sweet).
So off we went.

When we arrived in triage they asked me to change into a gown so they could verify that my water had indeed broken. At this point, my khaki shorts were soaked. The doctor checked me and I was 4-5cm and decided that the gushing as she checked me was all the proof she needed to verify my water broke. lol Then I was started on an IV because I have a heart condition and most important for the first time in 5 pregnancies I tested Group B strep positive. I was still in triage at this poin because there were no rooms for me. I was told the the first round of antibiotics would take 20 minutes (I needed two) and I needed at least one round before delivering. I was not concerned because I was having hardly any contractions and ZERO pain. I had plenty of time. 45 minutes later (and one Charmed episode on Netflix) the IV bag was barely dripping and still half full. It was about 11pm and my contractions all of a sudden were coming hard and fast out of no where. And I was still in triage. The nurse came in and adjusted my IV and took me to a room. Apparently, my IV was not set up right and the charge nurse took over and apologized. The charge nurse offically took over my care. But really, I did not care at this point. I was pretty uncomfortable at this point. And by uncomortable, I mean in pain. I was also freaking out because I still did not have my necessary antibiotics yet.

Once we got into the room and I asked to be checked and the doctor confirmed that I was at about a 7. Sweet, progress. Super painful progress but progress nonetheless. ;) Once the doctor checked me her and the nurse left and told me to call if I needed anything. Immediately upon them leaving I felt enourmous pressure. Crazy pressure. But the doctor had just checked me less than five minutes ago. No way could it be be time to push, right? My husband called the nurse and the doctor came back in. I said, "I know this is crazy because you just checked me less than 5 minutes ago. There is no way I am complete now, right?" The doctor checked me and I was indeed complete. I went from 7-10 in under five minutes and it was go time. They broke down the bed and it seemed like an eternity before my next contraction came. Finally, I felt another contraction came and I pushed and pushed as hard as I could. And in ONE push (I swear!) Conor Knox was born at 11:35pm on July, 12, 2012 (he simply could not wait until Firday the 13th). My sweet boy was a perfect 6lbs 8.9oz and 20in.

And now, here we are with an almost 1 year old and couldn't be happier. He completes our family.



Monday, June 24, 2013

Project 52-Week 26

Week 26 is on time...maybe even early-ish. How do ya like that?! It is miracle :D.

Week 26
"You will give the people an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders."

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Project 52-Week 25

Again these pictures are more about editing. I was in a moving car so they are not at sharp as I would like. Someone in a FaceBook photography group very graciously edited the first shot for me. Based on her tips I very awkwardly edited the second two myself.

Week 25
The Super moon and the mountains

And just because...

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Weaning

I never imagined myself talking about weaning at this point. I have successfully breastfed all my children. The oldest two for a year and the younger two for 25 and 26 months.

With Conor, it has been a difficult road. We had some significant issues with his weight in the beginning. But after a lot of tears (both his and mine) we made it throught that initial hump. But as an experienced breastfeeding mom it was clear to me right from the beginning that I was not producing as much as I had in the past. I tried extra water, Fenugreek, Mother's Milk tea, oatmeal. Everything I that had always worked for me in the past. But I never produced like I had with my other children. But he was doing well so we kept at it. Then in March 2013 I started my new job and my pump and I started our love hate relationship. Despite all my best efforts, my supply tanked. It has been a struggle since then. Conor gets half breast milk and half formula at daycare now. I feel tremendously guilty. I am not really sure why...he is healthy and thriving.

I am dealing with a pretty significant health issue and I can no longer avoid medication. I have done extensive research and this medication is not ok for breastfeeding. He will be one soon and although I had hoped to nurse past age one, it is clear to me that will not happen. I cannot put off my medication any longer. The healthiest thing I can do for my baby and my older four children is to take this medication. It is the right thing to do for both them and me. I know this what needs to be done.

So why do I feel so crappy about it?

Monday, June 17, 2013

Project 52-Week 24

Late. I know. But here it is nonetheless...

Week 24

This is unremarkable except is it the first picture I made a real effort on editing. Of course I am uncalibrated and completely lost despite reading several tutorials. It may look like total crap on your end but I am trying.

Here is an unedited photo from the same shoot. He is not happy with me, not at all.

Friday, June 14, 2013

The girl who hated sports

I hate sports. There, I said it. I hate them.

I grew up in a family of super athletic people. My dad is an amazing athlete and so are his four siblings. My dad is the type who played varsity football as a freshman and opted out of a farm baseball team and joined the Air Force instead. I grew up spending evenings watching my dad play in his recreational baseball leagues, watching sports in TV and being drug to Angels and Dodgers games. I hated it. I know this is terribly un-American of me but I hate baseball. I do not understand fantasy football leagues and wasting Saturdays golfing. I am a terrible athlete despite my best efforts. I am clumsy and uncoordinated. I ran track...it requires less grace.

I made it my goal to find a man who did not waste time watching football and being a crybaby every time the Cowboys lost a game. I found that guy. He is super intelligent. He knows all things political and has that cute nerdy side too. Plus he loves unsweetened iced tea and The Beatles as much as me. I knew from the beginning he was a keeper. So we set off into the sunset and had babies. I pictured adorable little hipster children running around our home quoting Goethe. Our 13 year old CJ started off that way. He had a love for Weezer, Star Wars and super heros at a young age. We were so very proud. ;)

But one day in the third grade he came from school and asked to play football. What? Football? Where would he get such a crazy idea? Certainly not from us. Turns out his best friend at school played football. I asked around and found out it was a pretty intense committment. He had played soccer in the past but that was a 1 to 2 day a week committment. Football was a 5-6 day a week committment. Plus CJ is a very sweet, very reserved, VERY shy child. I just could not picture him playing football. I put him off for about a year (bad mom, I know). One day my husband came home and told me he signed CJ up for football. WHAT? WHY? He calmed me down and gently reminded me it was about CJ, not us. And if that is what he really wanted we needed to support him.

So we embarked on this crazy path of becoming football parents. And I have to admit...it had been the BEST adventure ever. First of all, it brought my sweet CJ our of his shell. It has been good for him. He is a different kid. He is a great little athlete (well not so little anymore, he is almost as tall as me). But anyway, it was one of the best decisions we (well, my husband) ever made.

I came across THIS article today and it made me think. I love watching him play. Love it. My 11 year old and 8 year old play now too (their decision). I am the proudest football mom. I am proud of their committment and dedication. Sometimes you will see me complain about football but I really do love it. Their football games are often the highlight of my week. But I am not sure I have ever told them that.

I am so proud of them and I tell them that all the time. But I have never told them how much I like love watching them play. That will change. I truly do LOVE watching them play.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Spicy

It is spicy here in the Southwest these days. We have had high 90 temps but we were lucky enough to get some much needed rain this evening. And by rain I mean it was more like the sky spit on us for 5 seconds. But here in the Southwest, we count that as rain.

This evening Conor got to cool off with his first ever Otter Pop. It is safe to say he loved it.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Sunday Musings of an Exhausted Mom

I had to work this evening at my other job. I kind of dread it these days. I really want to quit, my husband wants to me to quit. We never use my discount and it only brings in about $55 a week. But on the other hand, it is an easy $55 a week. After my first year of employment at my big girl job I am eligible for overtime and I will feel so much better quitting my job at that point but that is such a long way off. I just do not know what to do. Right now, I am unhappy and exhausted with the situation.

I got of work late which really sucked for my husband because he was waiting outside for me...for an hour (we are temporarily sharing a car right now until we buy him a new one). On our way home from work we stopped by the grocery store for coffee. Being out of coffee tomorrow morning is simply not an option. As we were driving home we passed by a fire. We pulled over and called 911 and then waited for help to arrive. Scary stuff.

Now I am sitting here waiting on some laundry and coooking my lunch for tomorrow. I am so exhausted but super wired. That is why I hate being part of the closing shift on Sundays. Maybe I do need to bite the bullet and just quit.

I am just rambling now. Sorry, I tend to do that.

But before I forget! Conor's first official word is CJ, his big brother's name. Melts my heart. Also when you hand him something (cracker, milk, etc)he says "ta-tu". I am almost positive he is saying thank you. That or he really likes the Russian duo t.A.T.u. Either way, the kid is a genius. He is beyond adorable!

Goodnight everyone!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

This week in pictures...

Just some random pictures from this week. :)










And most important this week, my oldest son turned 13. We now have 2 teenagers in the home! How in the world did that happen? My sweet boy is 13 and almost taller than me. He is asweet boy who adores his baby brother, gets awesome grades, loves learning about film/cinematography, loves art, plays some mean football and is just an all around good kid. He is my gentle giant, mini me.

Project 52- Week 23

I finally started playing with my new flash a little bit. I still have no idea what I am doing but I guess like anything else, it just takes time and patience.


It is kind of amazing, the difference it can make. I am sure once I get the hang of it I will love it. Right now, I am just having fun. I also think it is time to dive into editing. I am just so intimidated but it. I open up Photoshop and my eyes cross. I have a decent grasp on everything else so I need to keep moving forward.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

I will never be Anne Geddes

Yesterday after work I decided whip out that camera and torture myself some more. I wanted to get a cute picture of the baby and his cute little baby tush. In my mind I was going to take that cute tushie shot and then watch a video about Photoshop and then convert it to black and white. Great plan, right?

I get the baby all bathed, fed and happy. I opened the front door and sat him in front of it (diaperless of course) in order to take advantage of some nice natural light. He was so cute, just crawling around all happy. All of a sudden he just stopped and gave me this face:
Uh oh. I know that face. He proceeded to poop all over the floor in front of the door. The good news is that we have tile in that spot so it was easy to clean. Oh well, so much for my precious back and white baby bum picture.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Just a snapshot

Here is the thing about learning photography. You can never look at a picture the same. You start to notice every little limb chop, every bit of grain, every overly photoshopped face...etc. Then you become overly critical of your own pictures and stop enjoying sweet little snapshots.

Ugh.

The baby was super fussy today. He was not into being my model. Every single picture I took was crappy and out of focus. So frustrated. That said, I ended up with this little gem even if it is just a snap shot. I do not now why I like it so much but I just do.

My two little guys, my babies


My original baby


"Mommy, your artisitic vision sucks and I refuse to smile and play along. Also this picture is doomed to be hopelessly out of focus." Meanwhile my 12 year old was complaining all the while because his 17lb brother was "so heavy".


My Tequila bottles are in focus though

Long day.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Project 52 failure

Ok, this week I am a project 52 failure. My project 52 for week 22 is non-existent. I wish I could say it is just going to be late. But that is not the case, it just did not happen.

I was really sick most of the week with the cold and sore throat from hell. I practially limped through the door every evening after work. My inner photog was too sick to be productive. Not to mention my messy house and piling up laundry. No biggie, that is what weekends are for...cleaning, laundry and photog-ing right? Wrong. Yesterday we celebrated my son's birthday a few days early because my inlaws are going to be out of town for his real birthday. Today I woke up and knew it was a wash because I had to work this afternoon/evening. The day started normal but when baby Conor woke up from his late morning nap he started puking everywhere. I called out to work (they were mad) but I just cannot leave him when he is sick. Sorry, not going to happen. Plus as much as I like this litte side job, it is just that. My side job. I hate to let people down but I am not leaving my sick baby.

The baby seems to be feeling better. My home is cleaner-ish and I can always catch up on laundry tomorrow. But I do not have an offical week 22 picture and that is a bummer.

Long story short. No picture this week. Boo.

Blind Cord Safety

My dear friend lost her beautiful daughter Weslea to a blind cord accident 5 years ago. Weslea would have been 10 tomorrow. Please read and educate yourself about blind cord safety/window coverings.

Weslea's Story
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