I did it...

I did it...I joined the gym again. Went today and worked my tail off. I am already sore but it will be so worth it.

My life recently as told through my phone camera...

Let's see, well my life has been similar to everyone else lately, enjoying the hustle and bustle of the holidays. I am always sad when it is over. And this year it seemed to come so fast.

Well, for one my baby toddler is still super cute.

I have a serious nail polish addiction. I have the ugliest, most pathetic nails that break all the time. Oh and to make matters worse I pick at my cuticles (nervous habit). But I keep painting them and pretending I am cute anyway.

My cute toddler hated this little carousel "ride" but we took a picture anyway. Please note, I took him off immediately after this picture was taken. I am not a complete jerk, just a half jerk.

Aside from receiving the most awesome boots ever, my favorite gift this year was a coffee mug that looks like a camera lens! How cute is this? You can buy one HERE.

We rang in the new year with lots of junk food. The only way to ring in the new year if you ask me.

And that is my life lately.

Making 2014 Count

Many people are picking a word to focus on rather than a specific list of resolutions. I thought really long and hard about this but initially I could not come up with anything. Not because I do not have tons to work on. Believe me, it would take me hours to sit here and write everything I need to improve upon and change in my life because I am a hot mess. Seriously.

I was just having trouble pulling everything together into one word or one theme to focus on. Here is the thing. The past year has been sort of a downward spiral for me. I am really battling some horrible anxiety and depression. I have gained a lot of weight. I am really struggling with being a working mom. I am just…well, I am unhappy. Really unhappy. It is really hard to put that out there. I hate to be a Debbie Downer. People ask each other all the time, “How are you?” But the truth is, I am not sure they really want to hear the truth.

The positive spin on this is that I *do* have the power to change most of this.

Weight- I have the power to lose weight. I can do it. It will take work and commitment but I can do it. We can afford for me to join a gym. A family member suggested that I buy a treadmill instead. But as crazy as it sounds, I am less likely to work out that way. And the truth is, I enjoy going to the gym.

Depression/anxiety- This is an area that I have struggled with for years and likely will forever. But there are things I can do to combat it. First of all exercise. Study after study showjust how helpful exercise can be in the treatment of depression. I figure exercise is a good starting point.

**UPDATE- I did it! I joined the gym again!.**


Working mom- Well, this is the hard one. I have to work and I need to just accept that. It is my reality and being all sad about it is not going to change a darn thing. I do like my job, a lot. But I hate leaving my little guy. I hate feeling like I am running around with my head chopped off most of the time. I really need to figure out a way to simplify this process because this is my life. The other thing is that I just need to expect that there is a certain level of chaos that goes along with a large household that includes five children, one dog and two working parents. It is what it is and you just have to be ok with some things.

Sometimes Often, I forget that it is ok to focus on myself once. That is does not make me bad or selfish to take care of myself too. There is no need to be a martyr. I think this contributes greatly to my unhappiness and because of that, I really let my life spiral out of control.

After sitting here, reflecting and writing everything out, my word came to me.

HAPPINESS
My focus for 2014 will be happiness. Some days that will mean telling myself it is ok to feed the kids fast food for dinner. Other days it will mean painting my nails instead of folding laundry. Just stopping once and a while to enjoy life and be happy. It is ok to be happy and I forget that a lot lately. That will change.

Boys of Fall

I received a new lens for Christmas. Sadly, I have been working so much that I have not had much time to practice with it yet. I got in a quick 5 minute session with two of my boys they other day. I am bummed because the pictures are so grainy because I had to crank up the ISO due to my lighting conditions. Oh well.

But what I do like about these pictures is that it really captures my football loving boys. We always have a football every where we go. Quick trip to to the grocery store? Better bring the football. Running into Target for a few things? Better bring the football. I am not exaggerating at all.

Boys will be boys.

Hello there...

Long time no write.

I have been debating what to do with this blog. I love my blog and I wish I updated more. There are a couple of reasons why I have not been active. One reason is because I am super angry at blogger (long story involving all my deleted pictures). The other is that, well, I am sort of random and really boring.

On the random note, should make this a mommy blog? A large family blog? A photography blog? A beauty blog? Or just stick with the random musings of a neurotic mom? Some weeks I am all about my photography obsession and the next I am all about my nail polish obsession and the next I am all about the mommy stuff. I do not know if that randomness is a good thing or a bad thing. I am not sure where I am going with this other than to say there are big changes in the works...I am just not sure what.

Well, hello there!

What's new?

Nothing new in my neck of the woods. Football ended and we went right into wrestling. Life is busy. I have decided that is just how it is when you have kiddos.

My little guy fractured his foot. Ugh. Poor kiddo. He slipped on wet tile in the bathroom. He bit his lip in the process and we were so focused on that we did not notice right away that he was limping. Luckily is just a tiny chip. He is in a half cast right now. We will take him for an ortho consult next week. But we have already been told they almost never cast this type of fracture.

I have been feeling down a lot lately. And I really think I need to take time to take better care of myself. I need to eat better, lose weight, sleep more...all the usual suspects. But I think I need to let myself enjoy life more. Of course this is all easier said than done. But I sincerely want to work on this.

Still plugging away with my photography hobby. I have even had some friends ask me to to take pictures. I suppose I will use this as an opportunity to build a portfolio. I really need to work on Photoshop skills. Photoshop is so overwhelming!

I guess that is all for now. I leave you with a lovely view of the Sandia mountain range. What a treat to wake up to these beauties everyday.

Radioactive

About 6 years ago my son begged us to play football. We were quite surprised as we are not really football fans. But he had some friends at school that played and he was interested. Evenutally we agreed and allowed him to play. In the end it was one of the best decisions ever. It was great for his self esteem, it keeps him in awesome shape (and away from the Xbox!), he is forced to have incredible time management skills and therefore has great grades. But one perk I did not expect was all the great friends I made along this journey. High school football will be a great experience but it was hard to say goodbye to this chapter.

The past two years were rough on our boys for various reasons. Last season ended 0-8 for them. And on a personal note, my son broke his arm during their 3 game. It was a rough season. But this season they came back fighting. The boys were in incredible shape and made it all the way to the semi-finals. It was a great experience for them and for us parents. I am so very proud of this incredible group of boys.