Running, running, running

Today I was determined to get in a good workout. I got up and got my children to school and got the baby ready only to find out I had a flat on my stroller. No big deal, just get out the bike pump, right? Wrong. I could not get it to fill up. I was not sure if it was the pump or if my tire needed to be repaired. At my husband's urging the baby and I headed over to a bike shop to find out it indeed had a hole. We paid extra for the special Thorn Resistant inner tube. By the time we got home I was all annoyed and ready to call it a day. But I pushed my lazy, over weight butt out the door anyway. My adorable running buddy and I jogged/walked a total of 3 miles. I even brought my camera and we took a few photos.

My adorable running buddy started to meltdown around mile 2 so I ran most of mile 3 trying to get home to soothe my little guy. It was the push I needed.

Plus it was down hill so that it always nice.

I am glad I went. I always feel so good after a run...even though I am really really really slow. I am ready to go again tomorrow. But I just notice another flat. Oh, the joys of living in the desert surrounded by goat-heads.

And just for fun, a picture of the beautiful Sandias that I am so very lucky to live by!

Found some motivation today

The weather was beautiful today so I found the motivation to go for a run (and by run I mean really slow jogging). I only made it about a mile and a half but it starts with baby steps, right?

And I have *the* cutest running buddy, EVER!

Time for some changes

I am just not in a good place place right now.

My self esteem is at an all time low. I need to lose weight. I am really down in the dumps about my job/financial situation. I am just feel really down and lost about everything. I realize that part of my feelings are due to PPD. However, many of the others issues I do have control of and the power to change. And that is what I intend to do.

1. Weight loss- Well this one is a no brainer. It may not be easy but it is something I have the control to change. I have a beautiful jogging stroller that needs to be used more. I have always enjoyed running. I promised my daughter I would run a race with her this May. I need to just get out there and do it. Truthfully, I meant to to hit it hard this week but a biter cold snap hit us the past few days. Running with a baby in temperatures in the teens is not an option. That said, a jogging stroller is not necessary for sit-ups, push-ups, crunches, etc. It is hard to get started but I *know* I will feel so much better about myself and eventually the physical changes will follow.

2. Job Hunting- I need to make sure I am submitting at least one application a day. I have been good about this the past week but I need to make sure I continue to stay consistent. The source of much of my stress is financial. Once I am working again I will feel better about a lot of things that are upsetting me lately. I have to do what is best for my family and working outside the home is what is best for us. I have applied for about 10 positions in the past few days so we will see what happens.* :::fingers crossed:::

3. Recharge- I need to take care of myself. I have fallen into a slump. I have turned into a martyr. I have been needlepointing on and off since I was 10. I have some unfinished projects that could use my attention. I also want to play with my camera a little more and learn to use it beyond "auto". I need to take time to recharge even if it is only a few minutes every day.

*I received my first rejection letter today. Ugh, I know it goes with the territory but man does it suck to be rejected. Oh well, such is life.

I am bored

When my kids tell me they are bored I give them a "mom" response. I tell them that I have some chores they can do or "Boring people are bored." But I admit it, *I* am bored.

Football and Cross country ended in late October. Then my 12 year old broke his arm in September so he was not able to wrestle when football ended. My 11 and 8 year old choose not to wrestle or play basketball. My daughter was part of Cross Country and the cooking club, both activities ended in October. This fall I was going crazy trying to get all three boys to practice and my daughter to cross country meets 5-6 days a week with a newborn in tow. I was so READY for the break.

Here were are, on our sports break and I ready to start the madness again. The truth is that as much as I LOVE cheering the kids on...I like the adult interaction. When I was working full time I like the adult interaction outside of office talk. Once I was home with the baby it was nice to be out of the house nursing the baby in an outdoor folding chair rather than my couch. I like chatting with the other parents.

Many of my friends work or they are home schooling older kiddos. Funds dictate that I stay home most of the time so museums, shopping trips, coffee dates, are out of the question. I am feeling really isolated and incredibly lonely. I look forward to the kids getting home from school every day so I am not alone. Sad, I know.

Next week I am starting a running program with a friend (and by running I mean a combination of walking and slowly jogging). I have a brand new jogging stroller, new running shoes and 5 kids worth of baby fat. I have no excuses. Anyway, I hope that helps my funk.

And if not, well track and spring tackle begin in March. I always have that to look forward to.

Please feel free to remind me of the above comment when I start complaining about football 3 months from now.