Weaning

I never imagined myself talking about weaning at this point. I have successfully breastfed all my children. The oldest two for a year and the younger two for 25 and 26 months.

With Conor, it has been a difficult road. We had some significant issues with his weight in the beginning. But after a lot of tears (both his and mine) we made it throught that initial hump. But as an experienced breastfeeding mom it was clear to me right from the beginning that I was not producing as much as I had in the past. I tried extra water, Fenugreek, Mother's Milk tea, oatmeal. Everything I that had always worked for me in the past. But I never produced like I had with my other children. But he was doing well so we kept at it. Then in March 2013 I started my new job and my pump and I started our love hate relationship. Despite all my best efforts, my supply tanked. It has been a struggle since then. Conor gets half breast milk and half formula at daycare now. I feel tremendously guilty. I am not really sure why...he is healthy and thriving.

I am dealing with a pretty significant health issue and I can no longer avoid medication. I have done extensive research and this medication is not ok for breastfeeding. He will be one soon and although I had hoped to nurse past age one, it is clear to me that will not happen. I cannot put off my medication any longer. The healthiest thing I can do for my baby and my older four children is to take this medication. It is the right thing to do for both them and me. I know this what needs to be done.

So why do I feel so crappy about it?

A Day In The Life

6:00-Get up, make coffee, get dressed/hair/make-up (I shower at night)

6:30-Wake up 8 y/o and 11 y/o

baby usually wakes up between 6:30 and 7:00. I nurse him and change/dress him after feeding him.

7:00-Wake up 12 y/o and 13 y/o

7:10-Get 11 y/o and 8 y/o to bus

7:30-Leave for daycare/work

8:00-4:30-WORK

I pump 2-3 times throughout the day.

4:45-Pick up baby and 11 y/o and 8 y/o

5:00-12 y/o and 13 y/o run track for their middle school. I pick up my 13 y/o and drop off my 12 y/o football gear for football practice. He has football practice at the middle school so that is super helpful in my crazy life. My 8 y/o also has football practice at the middle school. This saves my butt every day. Then I drive to another park where my 11 y/o has football practice.

7-7:15-Practice is over for everyone.

7:30-Eat dinner

8:00-10:00- Big kids do homework (the little guys get it done afterschool/before practice). During this time I am preping snacks and meals for the next day. Doing a load or two of laundry, washing bottles (The bane of my existance. Ugh.)

11:00-12:00- Wind down time for me! I could should go to bed as soon as my evening chores are done. But I am the type of person that has to wind down before going to bed. If I just go to bed without winding down I feel so stressed the next day. I need my trashy TV/internet time before bed.

I am trying to use the boy's football practice as time to practice with my camera and exercise as well. The camera practice is going well. Exercise, well, not so much. The weather has been really crappy. New Mexico in March is windy and miserable. The past several days have been cold with bitter cold wind. Therefore, the baby is none too happy about being in the stroller with all the wind and sand. And really, who can blame him. It is supposed to warm up in the next few days and then I can be diligent about exercise. Hopefully by the end of next week.


Oraganization is saving my butt every day. Some nights, I just want to skip all the meal prepping and bag packing for the next morning. But I *know* I will regret it if I do. I really have to force myself some evenings. But it is so worth it. I have always loved my crock pot but it is my best friend now more than ever. Tonight we had Slow Cooker Buffalo Wing Sandwiches and cole slaw. It was a hit. Tomorrow we are having bean burritos (beans will be cooked in the crock pot) and Spanish rice (which I already made the evening).

I pack all our bags the night before and boy do we have millions of bags. Ok, not millions. I am exaggerating. We only have 8. The diaper bag, my purse, my breastpump bag, my lunch bag, football/equipment bags x3 and "football practice" diaper bag are loaded in the car the night before. I also pack a snack bag for the big kids because they do not get a snack before track practice (and the 12 year old goes straight from track to football). Whew.

Have I mentioned I decided to stay on my part time job as well? I thought it would be nice to stay on and work Sunday's only. That way I keep my discount and it is an easy $50 each week. It seemed like such a good idea. But good grief, I am tired. Really tired and somehings got to give. I think it will the part time job.

Anyway, that is a day in my life lately.

Happy Hump Day!

I am halfway through my first week at work. My new job is really cool. Overwhelming and challenging but incredibly rewarding. I finally feel like I am using my hard earned education. I think this job will be a good fit for me. I am one of five new hires and 2 of them I worked with previously at another agency. It is so nice to have some familiar faces around. And most important, I am extremely thankful to find such a good job in this economy.

Conor is doing well with daycare but there have been some tears (both his and mine...mostly mine) and it breaks my heart. :(. But we are both plowing through and I know a week from now everything will be much easier. I wish I could just be home with him but that is just not my reality. I am so exhausted and trying to get my routine down. I feel like a bag lady every day. I walk out daily with a diaper bag, cooler bag for bottles, my lunch bag, breast pump, and my purse. I hate pumping and I hate washing bottles. But you do what you got to do, right?



My two big kids started track this week. They like it a lot but they are SORE. All that exercise has been a shock to their system after a long break from activities. lol Next week is Spring Break and the week after starts our football madness. It will be nuts. I am already exhausted. But I am excited. I am ready to get outside and get some vitamin D.

Today I had kind of a rough days so my husband brought me some irises to cheer me up! Irises and daffodils are my favorite. Irises because I am proud member of Kappa Kappa Gamma and daffodils because, well...because they are pretty! Nothing says spring like some lovely irises!


And with that, this former nightowl is dozing off and it is barely 10pm. Time for me to hit the hay!

Confessions of a bad mom

I am a bad mom...I am feeding the baby store bought jarred baby food. I fed my older 4 children store bought baby food as well. Occasionally, I would puree something we were eating and I plan to do so again. He just started a few weeks ago (I am a stickler about waiting until 6 months to start solids). We never really use baby food all that long because once they get used to "solids" (are purees really solid, not really I guess?) I just start giving them what we eat. I just do not put a lot of pressure on eating solids. I make sure breastmilk is their primary nutrition the first year and that is my emphasis. My goal is to keep them nursing at least a year and do not worry much about anything else. I do not stress a lot about making sure they "eat" three times a day. Today he ate solids twice, yesterday he had them once. Maybe I should have just started Baby Led Weaning because I seem to do a hybrid of it as it is. I don't know. Here I am, five kids in and I am still unsure of this parenting gig.

Anyway, everyone else seems to be making their own baby food and I feel like sort of a slacker. For what it is worth though, he is thriving and super adorable despite eating Gerber baby food.

At the end of the day I am sure there are tons of other things I *should* be doing (cloth diapering, buying only organic, the list goes on and on) but at the end of the day my kids are healthy, clean, fed and happy. That is all a momma could want.