Making 2014 Count

Many people are picking a word to focus on rather than a specific list of resolutions. I thought really long and hard about this but initially I could not come up with anything. Not because I do not have tons to work on. Believe me, it would take me hours to sit here and write everything I need to improve upon and change in my life because I am a hot mess. Seriously.

I was just having trouble pulling everything together into one word or one theme to focus on. Here is the thing. The past year has been sort of a downward spiral for me. I am really battling some horrible anxiety and depression. I have gained a lot of weight. I am really struggling with being a working mom. I am just…well, I am unhappy. Really unhappy. It is really hard to put that out there. I hate to be a Debbie Downer. People ask each other all the time, “How are you?” But the truth is, I am not sure they really want to hear the truth.

The positive spin on this is that I *do* have the power to change most of this.

Weight- I have the power to lose weight. I can do it. It will take work and commitment but I can do it. We can afford for me to join a gym. A family member suggested that I buy a treadmill instead. But as crazy as it sounds, I am less likely to work out that way. And the truth is, I enjoy going to the gym.

Depression/anxiety- This is an area that I have struggled with for years and likely will forever. But there are things I can do to combat it. First of all exercise. Study after study showjust how helpful exercise can be in the treatment of depression. I figure exercise is a good starting point.

**UPDATE- I did it! I joined the gym again!.**


Working mom- Well, this is the hard one. I have to work and I need to just accept that. It is my reality and being all sad about it is not going to change a darn thing. I do like my job, a lot. But I hate leaving my little guy. I hate feeling like I am running around with my head chopped off most of the time. I really need to figure out a way to simplify this process because this is my life. The other thing is that I just need to expect that there is a certain level of chaos that goes along with a large household that includes five children, one dog and two working parents. It is what it is and you just have to be ok with some things.

Sometimes Often, I forget that it is ok to focus on myself once. That is does not make me bad or selfish to take care of myself too. There is no need to be a martyr. I think this contributes greatly to my unhappiness and because of that, I really let my life spiral out of control.

After sitting here, reflecting and writing everything out, my word came to me.

HAPPINESS
My focus for 2014 will be happiness. Some days that will mean telling myself it is ok to feed the kids fast food for dinner. Other days it will mean painting my nails instead of folding laundry. Just stopping once and a while to enjoy life and be happy. It is ok to be happy and I forget that a lot lately. That will change.